I sat by my friend’s bed and felt helpless. She is dying of cancer after a long, brave battle over many years, and her 66th birthday is just a month away.
As I drove away from her house, my eyes filled with tears. How could someone so full of energy and gusto die so young?
There is no good answer to that question.
What this experience gave me is perspective. I am more than my title and my accomplishments, something I tend to forget when I am caught up in living.
That perspective was with me this past week when I hosted a virtual event, “How to Unleash Your True Value® in Your Next Act,” for professional women who have spent decades building their businesses or careers. My goal was to break the silence around planning for and moving toward the next chapter. For you, this could mean slowing down, selling your firm, or starting an encore career.
As the first generation of women with the choice to put our careers first, many of us don’t have a roadmap for this professional and life transition. We tend to keep quiet about our mixed emotions and confusion. That is why I developed this webinar and my new Next Act Coaching Program.
Here are the top three takeaways I shared during the event.
1. The silence is protecting you from something. In my book Breaking Money Silence®, I discuss how not speaking may keep you safe and help you avoid conflict. But the costs are high. The same is true for silence about your next act. So ask yourself: What am I protecting myself from? Fear? Anxiety? Facing my mortality? Something else? The answer is the first step toward planning for this inevitable transition.
2. Your mindset is running the show, even if you are not aware of it. Recently, I decided to work fewer hours. Each time I slowed down and had time to run an errand or see friends, I joked, “I make a great 1950s housewife.” When I said it for the fifth time, I realized that I fear becoming this person in retirement. Now that I am aware of this thought, I can reframe it. Having open time in my schedule means my hard work has paid off. I’ve given myself the gift of taking on less work, enjoying my clients, and spending precious time with those I love.
3. You are more than your title and accomplishments. When you walk into a networking event or a party, the first question people ask is, “What do you do?” When I introduced myself at the start of the webinar, I shared a laundry list of accomplishments. That is not my true value. My true value is that I am fun and thoughtful, and I love making an impact. Take a minute and list all the things that make you worthwhile. Now circle the ones that have nothing to do with work. If the list is short, ask a few friends what they would add.
My friend’s true value is her spirit, determination, and courage to die on her own terms. She loves to dance, ski fast, and compete with the boys. Yes, she had a professional life, but the stories we shared by her bedside had nothing to do with her work.
Don’t wait for a moment like this to start the conversation.
If you are pondering your next act, I would love to hear from you. My new Next Act Coaching Program provides private coaching and tools to help you navigate this uncharted territory. Click here to schedule a free 30-minute consultation to see if it’s a good fit.