Here is an excerpt for the second edition of Breaking Money Silence: How to Shatter Money Taboos, Talk More Openly about Finances, and Live a Richer Life which will be published on Janauary 14, 2025. Click here to pre-order your copy and join the revolution!
Preface
When Breaking Money Silence was originally published in 2017, almost half of Americans surveyed said they would rather talk about death, politics or religion instead of money.1At the time, that statistic blew me away and was the impetus for writing the book on how to bust through the money talk taboo in our society. I felt compelled to provide a roadmap for women, couples, and families on how to engage in financial conversations that went beyond the numbers. To advocate for a financial services industry that embraced the human side of finance and to make the case that doing so would be good for their clients and their businesses. I dared readers to join the “Breaking Money Silence Revolution” and my call to action was answered.
Since the original publication of this book, people’s willingness to more openly discuss their finances has increased. It’s exciting to see the needle move in the right direction. One reason for this shift is the next generation (Millennials and Gen Z) are less afraid to discuss taboo topics such as finances with their romantic partners, their employers, and each other than their parents’ generation. Many believe our society would be healthier if more people engaged in money talk. Another factor is the impact of the global COVID pandemic in 2020 that threatened our health and our wallets. The experience taught advisors that addressing the emotional side of money was not optional, it was sound business practice. It showed people from varying socioeconomic statuses that planning for a sound financial future was vital as unexpected events do happen. Parents who were once reluctant to discuss the family’s economics opened up, and engaged their kids, adult children, and aging parents in money talk because they realized it was necessary if they were going to survive and thrive during this challenging time. The pandemic forced many of us to reevaluate our life choices and it turns out many Americans decided the taboo against talking about money no longer served them.
Since the first edition was published, I also have evolved. This book has allowed me to speak to thousands of advisors and clients across North America and consult with wealth management firms, insurance companies, asset managers, and broker dealers to share the money talk message with their clients. There have been many meaningful money conversations with readers, advisors, coaching clients, and friends over the years. Most recently, I have expanded this work to include coaching women advisors, consultants, and entrepreneurs on their money mindsets, pricing strategies, and business growth. I love giving back to the professional women coming up through the ranks behind me and helping them avoid the mistakes I made while building KBK Wealth Connection. One of the biggest rewards has been sharing the Breaking Money Silence message with others and seeing the positive impact on their relationships, their businesses, and their lives.
As I tell my clients, I practice what I preach. Over the past seven years there have been times when I have had wonderful money talks and others where I struggled to discuss financial matters with loved ones. Know that you can write a book on the topic, teach these skills to others, and still come up against people that refuse to talk about money when it matters the most. My take-away is that sometimes you must accept that others will choose to not break their money silence with you. Don’t let this derail you. Stay focused on those people who will tolerate the initial discomfort and know that money talk will get easier with practice. I still firmly believe that openly and honestly discussing finances provides clarity, improves intimacy, and makes life richer in many ways.
Why publish a second edition of Breaking Money Silence? There are still people who struggle to discuss money and wealth with the next generation and advisors that don’t think teaching “soft skills” such as financial communication is part of their jobs. There are families like mine that do a good job teaching financial literacy skills when the children are young yet avoid or fight about what to do with their parents’ assets as they age or when they die. There are women that face a longstanding gender wage gap and need to break their money silence to earn a fair wage. There are aging parents that wait too long to share their end-of-life wishes with their adult children, leaving them to guess at what options are best and how to pay for their care now that they have dementia. The list goes on, and until money talk is commonplace in our society, I will teach these vital skills to women, families, and advisors.
What’s New
The second edition of Breaking Money Silence contains the most recent statistical data to accurately reflect where our society and the financial services industry are relative to wealth conversations as of September 2024. There is a new bonus chapter, “How to Unleash Your True Value and Earn More,” specifically written for women and allies of equal pay. In this chapter, you will learn the signs of underearning, how your money archetype influences your negotiation mindset, and strategies to identify and communicate your value with clarity and confidence. While this chapter is written for women, it is a great read for leaders and allies looking to do a better job fighting against gender wage bias and supporting women so they can earn their true worth. If you would like to know more about my Unleash Your True Value programs, visit the KBK Wealth Connection website or schedule a free consultation call.
Let’s keep the conversation going! I just know that together we can end money silence in our society and in our lives for good.