How do you unleash your true value?  It’s such a great question and one Kathleen Kingsbury and I explored in our time together on her Unleash Your True Value® Podcast.  Step one is knowing your true value.  But then what?  I believe step two is asking for what you want. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy.  

How can you ask for what you want in a way that increases your chance for success?  

You ask in a way that men/women will listen.  (and yes there are differences)

You ask in a way that conveys confidence.

You ask in a way that wins credibility.

You ask in a way where you align with vs push against the other person.

You ask in a way that taps into values – yours and the other person’s.

You ask in a way that is courageous.

For example, how can you ask for what you are worth?  For me, it helped to find a specific motivator. On the podcast, I share the story of wanting to buy a stand-up paddleboard. I really wanted that paddleboard, so the next speaking gig I added the price of the board to my speaking fee. Because I wanted that paddleboard, I found the courage to ask for a higher fee.  And the client said yes! I was now feeling more confident and added that paddleboard price to every speaking fee. I paid for that board 12 times over.

I share another story about credibility.  In my research, I’ve found that when a woman loses a sale, it is often a credibility issue.  When a man loses a sale, it is often a trust issue.  Knowing I needed to win credibility with an audience of largely male financial advisors, I used the technique of getting ahead of their objections.

While I speak to audiences of financial advisors, I am not an advisor. I spend my time with clients, asking them how they chose their advisor, what’s going well, and what’s not going well.  Their answers were often surprising. 

When I start a presentation, I state outright, “I am not a financial advisor. You all are the experts on what it looks like from your side of the desk. My expertise is what it looks like from the client’s side of the desk. They are sharing information with me that may surprise you.”   This allows them to know that I am credible and that their input matters. It works like a charm.

If you want to unleash your true value, remember to lead with credibility and find a motivator for asking for your worth. For more trips on how to stand in your value and ask for what you want in a way that actually works, listen to my interview with Kathleen Burns Kingsbury.

Holly Buchanan is a popular speaker, author and consultant.  She is the head of Buchanan Marketing LLC,  a consultancy specializing in marketing and selling to women based in Richmond, Virginia.